Time To Unwind

I recently finished reading Unwinding Anxiety by Judson Brewer.

*POSSIBLE SPOILER ALERT* Rating: 3/5 stars "A step-by-step plan clinically proven to break the cycle of worry and fear that drives anxiety and addictive habits

We are living through one of the most anxious periods any of us can remember. Whether facing issues as public as a pandemic or as personal as having kids at home and fighting the urge to reach for the wine bottle every night, we are feeling overwhelmed and out of control. But in this timely book, Judson Brewer explains how to uproot anxiety at its source using brain-based techniques and small hacks accessible to anyone.

We think of anxiety as everything from mild unease to full-blown panic. But it's also what drives the addictive behaviors and bad habits we use to cope (e.g. stress eating, procrastination, doom scrolling and social media). Plus, anxiety lives in a part of the brain that resists rational thought. So we get stuck in anxiety habit loops that we can't think our way out of or use willpower to overcome. Dr. Brewer teaches us map our brains to discover our triggers, defuse them with the simple but powerful practice of curiosity, and to train our brains using mindfulness and other practices that his lab has proven can work.

Distilling more than 20 years of research and hands-on work with thousands of patients, including Olympic athletes and coaches, and leaders in government and business, Dr. Brewer has created a clear, solution-oriented program that anyone can use to feel better - no matter how anxious they feel."

Deeply disappointed by the final chapter. While I am sure it was personally enjoyable to the author to inject his political affiliation into the book and implicitly claim moral high ground for his "side" (because all kindness obviously resides on that side) and I am equally sure he gained feel-good pack bonding from doing so, he has damaged his opportunity to bridge the divide with information which should be free of such self-gratification and implied superiority in order to reach the widest possible audience. I went from intrigued with the intent of going back through the book to mine out steps and processes that I did not retain on the first pass to feeling icked all over from being dragged back into the politicized quagmire of judgmental tribalism we are subjected to 24 hours a day 365 days a year. The final chapter is self-serving virtue signaling that is not compatible with the kindness that the author is promoting. It is not compatible with shedding tribalism which the author decries. It is not compatible with seeing people as people rather than as the "other," as "extremists." There is actually such a thing as an extremist out there and we are far too absorbed in hating people who like red-blue purple because we like blue-red purple to be able to identify the real extremists.

I strongly suggest not reading past the header "Taking Extremism to the Extreme" in chapter 23. We don't need another burden of duty to be "kindness extremists" with people we don't agree with; we need to do the internal work of being okay with the fact that others don't agree with us. To use the parlance of the book, we need to stop rewarding the habit of tribalism evidenced in this very book. What do we get from tribalism? How about we get curious about what the other side thinks? How about we get curious about the real effects of virtue signaling?

When we have done this work and learned that it is okay for people to hold opinions that we don't hold, that we do not need to jump up and down shouting our values so that we are not *gasp* possibly confused with the other side (which would obviously ruin our lives), and that kindness can look like many different things, then we will be able to identify the real extremists among us. They will be far fewer than we think right now and instead of a burden, a duty of kindness, kindness will already have bloomed, because after all, as the author notes, it's much more rewarding than meanness.

I can recommend the other 22.5 chapters of the book.

Check out Unwinding Anxiety, and decide for yourself if it's helpful for unwinding your anxiety. Happy Reading :)